Anxiety, frustration and even chronic insomnia are linked to repressed fear. You can learn to change how you relate to fear and transform it’s energy into greater freedom, love and personal peace.
Fear is the most common emotion that controls and dominates the mind of humankind. It often lurks in the dark corners of our mind thriving upon our lack of understanding of its purpose. Fear has a purpose of protecting us and keeping us safe. Fear is a broad topic, so I’m going to focus on the four basic fear patterns that can sabotage our most valued relationships.
We live in a very anxious and fearful world!
Unexpressed fear quickly putrifies into anxiety and stress. The fear of the unknown has plagued us with intense fears and doubts about our relationships. Fear and anxiety thrive on ignorance, which means to ignore it. I’m going to help you better understand how to finally stop being afraid of your fear patterns, learn from it, and release the fear with its anxiety.
All life experiences are there to teach us who we are. The withdrawal or loss of love always produces pain. This emotional pain comes from the ego’s perception of being separated from love. We yearn to experience love in our lives, but the potential problem of losing love creates enormous fear and emotional pain. The fear of loneliness is the origin of all fear patterns that we, as humans, experience in life.
Our ego is a necessary part of our consciousness. Its purpose is to deliver information about what’s going on all around us. It only uses the five physical senses to gather information. The ego is what most people identify as who they are. It thinks love exists outside of itself and is on the endless search for it and, once found, tries desperately to control it and prevent it from leaving.
Learning to value love in our lives reveals the real purpose of fear. Fear is a feeling that happens when you are threatened or put in jeopardy of losing something you value. Fear’s goal is to protect you. Most people fear death because they value and love life.
When someone is afraid of losing love, they often resist having more love in their lives to avoid any potential loss. We become afraid of our fear because we erroneously think love exists outside of us. That’s when fear controls our hearts and minds, impeding our spiritual growth.
It is our human nature to continually seek to experience more love. We play tug-of-war between love and fear, and ultimately, the goal is to see how they can function together to deepen the value of love in our lives. Will we allow our ego’s fear to run our lives, or will I acknowledge my fear and still be courageous enough to reach and stretch for more love, in spite of it?
The ego’s simple approach leads to a very lonely and painful life. When we remember and begin feeling the love of who we are as a spiritual being. We remember that love dwells deep inside us. We can recognize and transform our fears into greater meaning and value. We admit that yes, I am afraid to lose love because I value love in my life. Fear then becomes a messenger to appreciate and deepen love, and once the message is received, the messenger (fear) can leave.
One of the purposes of feeling fear is to teach us to value the love we have in our lives and not take it for granted.
When you are afraid of losing love, what you are thinking is, “Love matters to me. It’s valuable and important to me.” Without the fear of losing love, we would take love for granted, and it would become meaningless.
When you acknowledge that someone you love could die, instead of shutting down your feelings or ignoring the possibility; challenge yourself to move beyond your fear to start appreciating them now. Relish them, in the moment. Feel the love you have for them by giving it your all, rather than withdrawing from the threat of its loss.
Four Fundamental Fear Patterns and Their Lessons of Greater Love
1) Fear of Abandonment
2) Fear of Rejection
3) Fear of Betrayal
4) Fear of Humiliation
When ignored, these four fear patterns imprison us, yet they hold the keys to transforming our hearts and retrieving our inner power.
The nature of love is that love pays attention to detail. Love also seeks to understand. When you pay attention and seek to understand your fear, you begin to bring the energy of love into it. The fear patterns hold a part of love that is a life lesson for you to discover and utilize in order to become more loving.
Everyone has felt all four of these fear patterns. It’s the offspring of the original fear of loneliness. It’s your original fear pattern from which all the other fears emerge. By understanding your core fear, you can pull the root out of your heart and retrieve the lost power of love that can transform your life.
The first step: Discover the root of your fear and it involves reflecting upon your past experiences. What has happened to you in intimate relationships, friendships, and family life? What are your parents’ core fear patterns? What do you do in your relationships when love is in jeopardy? Do you reject, abandon, betray, or humiliate? We often do to others what we fear will happen to us. Search the fertile soil of your past to find the clues to your fear.
The second step: Let yourself feel the fear. Don’t numb-out with addictive responses that will disconnect you from your ability to change the circumstances. Feel the impact of the fear and muster the courage to face this imprisoning energy. Remember all the love that was lost in the tug-of-war between your ego’s battle of love and fear. Decide, never again will I give my power to my fear; I’ll respect it by hearing its message and choose to bring love into my fears. Take some time to heal the remorse and regret, grieve the pain and let it go. Ask God to help lift you beyond the pain and fear of your past. Turn toward the future.
The third step: Forgive yourself and the others who have participated in creating this fear in your life. Let it go! You will soon discover that the fear was all a part of your Soul’s plan to deepen the pure love within you. Remember, fear isn’t your enemy; it has a purpose to teach you the value of love. The more you value love at the moment, the less threatening fear becomes. Love casts light into the dark corners of fear that lurks in our minds.
The fourth step: Transform your core fear with the secret antidote that your pattern is destined to teach you. Your fear pattern contains an essential expression of the love you need to overcome the fear and create the abundant, loving future you desire.
The Antidotes to Your Fear Patterns
- Fear of Rejection: Acceptance of Yourself & Others
- Fear of Betrayal: Trusting Yourself & Others
- Fear of Humiliation: Compassion-Caring for Self & Others
- Fear of Abandonment is a Commitment to Yourself & Others
To successfully transform your fear pattern, you must reach beyond rejection into self-acceptance and begin to accept others. Move beyond potential humiliation and dip into the rejuvenating pool of compassion and caring.
Release the tight grip of abandonment and relax within the commitment you have for yourself and then others. Trust then becomes a ray of light that dissolves betrayal and shines upon your future, revealing the path that will take you all the way home to your heart.
When your old fear patterns arise in the future (and it will), remember to feel it, and then choose to express the unique expression of love that this fear has held captive.
The secret antidote for fear patterns in your relationships with others is to accept/trust/care/commit to yourself and then others. Love yourself enough to reach out to others and watch how your life transforms. You will never have to be afraid of your fear patterns again!
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